I'd Do It All Again For You
by Jennifer Catlin DiNozzo
Summary: A year after the shooting, Elliot shows up on Olivia's doorstep to tell her why he left. AU. One-shot.


**Result of watching SVU marathon all day today. Hope you like it. Just a one-shot.**

Olivia sat on her couch, the television muted, thoughts running through her mind. She made it through another case; another case without him. The first one was hard, not having him there by her side, but it got a little easier with every victim she helped, and every case she and the team solved. It was a little easier to go to work now, without reminiscing in memories of the past, of Benson and Stabler. He still clouded her memory. She still cried, mourning the loss of her best friend. She had stopped calling long ago, because she knew that he needed his space, and that if he wanted to talk to her, he would. She just had to give him time.

"A year should've been enough time, right," she asked herself out loud.

Nursing her second glass of wine of the evening, she remained on her couch, having retrieved the blanket from the chair beside her. When she found herself nodding off, she reluctantly got up and went into the kitchen, dumping the rest of her wine down the sink and setting the glass on the counter. The blinking neon green numbers on her microwave caught her eye as she was making her way to her bedroom. Olivia let out a sigh, seeing as it was almost one o'clock in the morning. Luckily, she was not on-call this weekend.

She made her way into her room and her weary body met the soft comfort of the cool sheets, relaxing her instantly. She checked her phone one last time then set it on her nightstand and leaned to turn the lamp off when there was a knock at her door.

"Great," Olivia mumbled as she made herself leave the comfort of her bed.

She made it to the living room before the unknown visitor spoke through the door. The breath hitched in her throat as the voice carried through the wood.

"Liv, I know it's late and I know that you probably hate me right now . . . just please . . . Liv . . . I need to talk to you."

Olivia's mind was quickly flooded with the feelings of when he left; the job . . . when he left her. She collected herself enough to move towards the door and turn the knob, and somehow willed herself to open it. She couldn't look at him, not at first. She focused on the ground outside her apartment, attempting to blink away the tears threatening to fall.

"Liv." He said quietly. He just wanted to take her into his arms and hold onto her forever.

Minutes of silence passed, Olivia's eyes still glued to the floor beneath his feet. She finally raised her head and her brown eyes met his blue ones for the first time in over a year. She sniffled as a tear made its way down her cheek.

"El." That was all she could say.

Elliot closed the gap between them as his arms found their way around her, one around her back and the other caressing the back of her head as she cried into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Liv," he whispered to her over and over.

They stood in the threshold of her apartment for what seemed like forever. Elliot stepped back from Olivia and she raised her head, looking at him questioningly with bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

"Let's go inside," Elliot said as he guided her back into her apartment with a hand on the small of her back.

He led her to her couch, where they both sat, his legs propped up on the coffee table, Olivia leaning into his side, head resting on his chest, tears still appearing now and then.

"Liv, you deserve an explanation," he said softly.

Olivia sat up, wiping away what was left of her tears.

Elliot sighed, feeling very sorry for what he had put her through.

"When I shot Jenna, it . . . it took a lot out of me. I was a mess. I mean . . . I shot a kid! And that really shook me up. But even worse, I . . . I killed a kid . . . because I . . . I was afraid . . . that she was going to shoot you, Liv." He took a breath and looked at her, meeting her eyes.

What he said caught her off guard.

"You thought . . ." She trailed off, her eyes falling to the floor once again.

"I couldn't take that chance . . . I couldn't let you get hurt, Liv. I couldn't. And after I pulled the trigger . . . and I . . . that little girl . . . I couldn't handle . . . I shot her . . . I couldn't lose you. And I was mad at myself . . . at you at first . . . just like Gitano . . . because I chose you . . . over everything else. So I . . . I left . . . and I was a mess . . . Kathy left me . . . took the kids . . . kicked me out . . . Don helped me get my life back together . . . helped me get a place, a job . . . I couldn't let you see me like that. I was a wreck."

Olivia was speechless.

"El, I . . . I'm so sorry. She . . . took the kids . . . that must have killed you." She moved a hand and placed it on his knee.

Elliot nodded. "It was bad for a while, but I still get visitation every couple of weeks."

They sat in a comfortable silence, both facing the still muted television with a few inches in between them. Elliot reached out and grasped Olivia's hand and intertwined their fingers, causing Olivia to turn towards him.

"Liv . . . there's something else I wanted to tell you," he stated uneasily.

Olivia just looked at him, bracing herself for the worst. Elliot moved closer to her, their faces mere inches apart.

"The main reason I came a 'knocking on your apartment door at one in the morning . . . so I could do this," he breathed as he captured her lips with his.

She brought a hand to his chest as he brought a hand to her cheek. Elliot could feel her lips twinge into a smile as he pulled back. He placed his hand under her chin to keep her from looking away.

"Elliot, I . . ." Olivia started.

"No, Liv, let me finish. I wanted to talk to you, I really did, but I promised myself that I would get my act together before I came to see you . . . you deserve the best . . . and I wasn't in the position to give you that." He brushed a stray hair behind her ear, "I love you, Olivia Benson, and I always will."

Olivia's breath hitched in her throat, her heart was beating a million miles an hour in her chest, and although she was in utter shock, she couldn't help but smile.

"I love you, too, Elliot."

Both were grinning now and Elliot captured Olivia's lips in an earth-shattering soft, slow, and loving kiss. They parted when air became a necessity, foreheads resting together.

"I missed you so much, El." Olivia finally said.

"I missed you, too. I'm never leaving you again. I promise you that. Never again, Liv."

Olivia grinned. "Good." She stifled a yawn.

Elliot grabbed her hand and stood up, turning off the television and leading her into her bedroom. Olivia raised an eyebrow.

"A little anxious, Stabler?"

Elliot just chuckled. "No, but we're both tired. I just figured that you would rather sleep in here than on the couch."

Olivia smiled and kissed him on the cheek before she made her way to her dresser and began rummaging through a drawer, only to pull out a pair of NYPD sweats and tossed them on the bed. "Thought you might want to change," she stated as she continued looking through the drawer.

"These are mine. You . . . you kept them . . . after all this time?" Elliot was surprised.

Olivia turned to him, NYPD shirt in hand. "They're comfortable." She grinned sheepishly as she walked into her bathroom.

Elliot just chuckled at the fact that she kept his clothes and wore them. He could definitely get used to this.

She emerged moments later, only in a large t-shirt that fell to her mid-thigh. It was also his.

"How much of my clothing have you acquired over the years?"

She walked to the side of the bed where he was sitting, having changed while she was in the bathroom. He looked up into her chocolate brown eyes and she smiled.

"Does it matter?" She asked as she sat down beside him.

"Well, not really. You look really sexy in my clothes, you know that?" He smirked.

"Really . . . who knew?" Olivia teased as she crawled under the covers.

Elliot followed suit, but stayed on the opposite side of the mattress, unsure of the boundaries. Olivia turned the lamp on her bedside table off, turning over to face Elliot, smiling because he was hers.

"What?" He asked.

"Oh nothing. I love you." She said, leaning in to peck him on the lips.

Elliot cupped her cheek as her lips collided with his yet again.

"Goodnight, Olivia." He said as he released her from his grasp.

"Night, El." She turned over, with her back to him.

Elliot was confused. Had he done something wrong?

"Come on, Stabler. I'm not fragile." She said.

Elliot chuckled and moved closer, draping an arm over her, finding her hand, and intertwining it with his.

"I love you, Liv." He mumbled against her neck.

"I love you, too, El."


End file.
